Afternoon Ghost

Sometimes

I think I have to see your sweet face

one more time.

Your memory

burns like hot, blue flame inside me.

My chest aches

with the weight of words

we did not say,

smiles, we did not share,

times, we should have had

together.

I close my eyes in the stillness

and feel the warmth

of your presence;

always there,

always sacrificing for me,

always my wings …

my big brother

so strong

and so wise

beyond your years.

I miss you so.

And this smothering,

penetrating pain

never goes away.

Years fly by,

but I can’t move on;

your words still tumbling and swirling

their sharp edges

 running over and over inside my head.

I tried so hard to save you and ease your pain,

but I could not save you,

and a part of me died with you that quiet morning in August.

I know your battle has long since passed,

but what I still don’t know

is  how to let you go.

jburns